Can We Go Back To The Start?
by PsychoticSax
Summary: This is a songfic/BrOrson. I think I did this for a friend. It explains why I wrote the hideous story on the inside. The song is, "Nobody Said It Was Easy," by Coldplay. This is the only BrOrson fic you're getting from me. Take it or leave it.


_**The first and very possibly only BrOrson fic written by me is dedicated to xoCupcakexo! For if it wasn't for her then I wouldn't be writing this. I still haven't decided if that's a good thing or not … but don't think this changes my mind about Brarl!**_

_**Can We Go Back To The Start?**_

Bree Hodge sat in her car for a full five minutes after the song had played. She had been heading off, to see her lover no doubt, when she turned on the radio and heard the music. She had felt something, though unsure what it was at the time, which told her that perhaps she should listen to the song. Normally she would have turned the radio down so that she could focus on leaving. But she couldn't seem to will her hand to touch the little knob.

She sat there for a moment, thinking about the lyrics.

_Come up to meet you,_

She remembered when she first met Orson Hodge, her husband. She smiled fondly at the memory. He had seemed no innocent … so kind back that. He liked to cook, and clean, and he was part perfectionist. Just like she was. Two halves of the same whole perhaps?

_Tell you I'm sorry,_

After he ran Mike over, he felt terrible. She could see the pain in his eyes. It was as if he was mentally beating himself up over the incident. At the time, she had been so mad that she doubted she was able to think straight. He told Mike he was sorry for putting him in that coma, nearly ruining the relationship between him and Susan.

He had apologized to Bree multiple times as well. But she didn't want to hear it. She wanted him to go to jail. But it hadn't been of 'civic rights' as she had put it; she was becoming afraid. She was afraid of her own husband. She never thought he would be able to do something so horrible and she was afraid of what he would do next. So she demanded the he go to jail. She didn't want him to leave; in all truth, she was just trying to protect Benjamin and herself.

_You don't know how lovely you are,_

"Bree," he said to her, once upon a time. "You are, certainly, without a doubt, the loveliest woman I have ever met." Her cheeks blushed a crimson red as she spoke.

"I hardly doubt that I'm the loveliest person you've met Orson," she said. "There are plenty of other women who are just as lovely, if not more."

"Not to me there isn't," he said and her cheeks became even redder.

_I had to find you,_

_Tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart,_

Over the years, they had come to rely on each other. Orson told Bree his mysterious past and he was by her side when she pulled off the pregnancy hoax. They knew that without each other, things in life would become difficult.

Who knows what would have happened to Mike if it had not been revealed that Mike didn't kill Monique?

They had become quite the couple. They were the perfect pair that could assure you that they were elegant, sophisticated, and charming to the touch. They hosted and catered and mingled and entertained. It was who they were. And they didn't let anything get out of control. No matter what the situation, they could always depend on one another not to let things fall.

_Tell me your secrets,_

_Ask me you questions,_

Everything, well, almost everything, was shared between them in their best years. Orson unraveled the secrets of Monique and, together, they helped put that mystery to an end. They had told each other so much … Bree told him of the strained relationship she had with her children. How she wished she could see Danielle.

He helped her arrange the visit for Danielle to come. The younger woman had been extremely skeptical, but had agreed to it. Bree had thanked him so much for doing it for her. It meant a lot to her to get to see her daughter again. Even if Danielle hated her even more whenever they left.

_Awe, let's go back to the start,_

That first kiss in the rain was magical. His lips descending on hers, the way he held her close, even though they were soaked. She remembered how warm he felt right then and there. She was covered in rain, soaked to the bone, but she was so happy standing there kissing Orson.

_Runnin' in circles,_

_Comin' in tails,_

_Head's on the science apart,_

Suspicion had been placed on one then the other for who knows how long. They took their turns at being the one with the secret but in the end all that mattered was them together; right?

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_It's such a shame for us to part,_

She remembered when she went to Karl as her divorce lawyer. It really wasn't easy to hear everything Karl had planned to do to Orson. No matter how much she had pretended like see wanted it, she just didn't want to see Orson get hurt. _Nothing is hurting him more than me_. Sure, she enjoyed her meetings with Karl, finding out how to take Orson down but wasn't there a way to do this so that she could protect his heart? She didn't love him anymore … or did she?

Bree was so confused with her emotions. She loved going off with her lawyer, Karl, for some fun. He was great in bed. But other than that … Bree couldn't say much for him. _He promised to change for me_, she thought. _But Orson didn't have to change._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be this hard,_

When he found out about the divorce he seemed different afterwards. He still tried to please her, but he seemed alone. He didn't have the usual shine in his eye that was reserved especially for her. It was hard for her to see him so down. She hated what she was doing to him. But it had to be done. Didn't it?

_Awe, take me back to the start,_

When Bree was first getting her divorce all she wanted was for things to be like they were. She wished that Orson didn't have his male ego. She wished that they were like they had been in the beginning. They were a happy couple that just wanted to get married and be together. What happened the *those* people?

_I was just guessing_

_Of numbers and figures,_

_Putting the puzzles apart,_

He had little things he did for her, little presents he got for her, always wondering if she would like them. Of course, she usually did. He took a chance and did something different every now and then and she would always admire him for it. At least she used to. She didn't know what happened. Was his kleptomania something miscalculated? Did he think that she would love him more if he did something he wouldn't normally do for the sake of their marriage?

_Questions of science,_

_Science and progress,_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart,_

He did love her. She could see it in his eyes everyday; feeling it ravish her as she left the house … off to see her lover … It tortured her, having to choose like this. It was … difficult. She wasn't sure what to do. She had always been told to follow her heart … and to take her head along with it. But her heart and her head where in two different places …

Or were they?

_Tell me you love me,_

He had said it so many times … before and after the divorce. But the question stayed strong in her mind. Did she still love him?

_Come back and haunt me,_

His face came to her mind. He looked nowhere near as good as her lover did, but it wasn't the outside that counted, right? His heart was always in the right place … or at least it normally was … God, why was this so hard for her? Before the damn song came on she had no trouble going off to see her lover! Well, some, but not nearly this much!

Orson's face kept coming back to her mind … How happy he looked when they got married and how sad he looked when she asked for a divorce … his face… It was so painful for her to look him in the eye and say, "Well, I'm off to run a few errands. Be back in an hour or so."

_Oh and I rush to the start,_

The start. She was surprised at how most of it went back to Susan. She met Orson through Susan and she owed Susan a great much because of that. She had had many wonderful years with Orson … was she really willing to give up so many years of happiness for a mistake on her husband's behalf?

_Runnin' in circles,_

_Chasin' our tails,_

_Comin' back as we are,_

If only they *had* ended up where they used to be … At some point they were happy together. Whatever happened to Bree and Orson Hodge? But she had to admit … was she Mrs. Orson Hodge or was he Mr. Bree Van de Kamp?

Because it seemed to go either way … maybe he needed to feel like a man … that was the reason for his stealing, wasn't it? Male ego? It just seemed like a man couldn't be happy as a Mr. something … it always had to be Mrs. something instead… Well, that *was* the way old-fashioned values worked, wasn't it? The man supported the woman … and *both* of them were firm believers in old-fashioned values…

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part,_

Bree shut her eyes and placed one hand on the door handle of her car and the other on her key. It was either open the door and go back to Orson or drive off to see her lover. She was conflicted. It wasn't easy to just leave Orson like she thought it would be. Was it because she once loved him? Or because she still loved him?

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be so hard,_

No one ever *did* say that breaking someone's heart was easy. She always thought that it would be if she no longer cared. Maybe it was. She wasn't sure.

She still hadn't moved her hands. She didn't know where to go. Should she try and work things out with Orson? Should she move on to Karl and forget about him? Oh, but she knew that there was no forgetting Orson …

_I'm goin' back to the start,_

She pulled her keys out of her car and opened her door. She couldn't leave him. No matter how easy she thought it would be, she couldn't leave that son of a gun; not after everything they'd been through together.

She put her keys in her purse and ran up to her front door. She slammed the car door behind her and she realized that she was smiling as she ran to her house. She opened up the front door and called out.

"Orson? Orson are you home?" she called.

"I'm in here Bree!" he called from the kitchen. She ran over to the kitchen, dropping her purse on the sofa as she walked by it. He was in the kitchen, sitting at the table and drinking his coffee. He stood up when he saw his wife. She was smiling for the first time in a long time. "Bree are you alright?" he asked her.

She ran over to him and hugged him. Stunned, he set the coffee down on the table and hugged her back. "Is there any chance you could forgive me and we could get past all this?" she asked him.

"Bree," he said, surprised by her actions. "I…of course we can." She pulled her head back and looked at him for a second. Then they kissed. In the kiss was more than just hope for the future; there was love … love for each other …

"I love you," she whispered to him, hugging him once more. "I'm so sorry about all of this…"

"It's alright Bree," he told her. He hugged her al little tighter. "I forgive you. For everything. And I love you too … I always will…" they stood for perhaps a moment longer in each other's embrace, thinking of the joys the future would bring for both of them. Bree felt at peace. She finally believed that she had done something perfectly. Even if it started out as a huge mistake.

_**Ok, now that I'm done with the BrOrson I need to move onto some Brarl … remember, this was all xoCupcakexo's fault. So if you need someone to be ticked at for this … thing, then don't blame me!**_

_**Ok, LOL, this was actually kinda interesting to write … I guess I gotta than her too for my new experience at a BrOrson story … not that I think I'll be posting anymore… Oh, and the song is Nobody Said It Was Easy by Coldplay.**_


End file.
